I heard a psychologist say recently that people-pleasing can be a low-level form of narcissism. My immediate reaction was basically, Well, that’s offensive. Mostly because I thought they might have a point.

Now, before anyone gets upset, I am absolutely not saying that being a people pleaser means ...

Most of us want to be chosen. We want the relationship. We want the friendship. We want the job. We want the invitation. We want someone to look at us and say, “You. You’re the one I want.”

And there is nothing wrong with that. Being chosen feels good. The problem begins when we start confusing bei...

We spend a lot of time talking about red flags. Honestly, I think the internet has gotten so good at identifying red flags that we could probably diagnose an entire relationship based on the way somebody holds their fork. But there’s a problem with becoming really good at identifying everything you ...

One of the saddest statements I hear in counseling is not, “We got divorced.” It is not even, “They betrayed me.”

It is this, “I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

When people say those words, they are usually not describing something that happened overnight. They are describing a slow disappearan...

Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling emotionally exhausted and wondered what just happened? You started the day feeling fine. Your coffee was hot. Your to-do list was manageable. Nothing major was wrong.

Then you talked to someone. Maybe it was a family member. A coworker. A friend...

If you are the person everyone relies on, you may know this feeling well. You help. You organize. You step in when things fall apart. And yet somewhere along the way, being helpful turned into being exhausted.

A listener recently wrote to me asking, “How do I stop people-pleasing without feeling li...

People pleasing often gets praised in our culture. We call it kindness. We call it selflessness. We call it being easy to work with, loyal in relationships, or someone who always shows up.

But underneath that polished image is often something much heavier: emotional debt. Emotional debt builds when...

One of the most common boundary struggles I see in therapy is this:

People do not just say no. They explain it. They defend it. They justify it. And often they apologize for it.

But the truth is, saying no should not require an essay.

Why People Over-Explain Their Boundaries

Over-explaining is r...

Most of us grow up believing that being nice is a virtue. We are praised for being agreeable. Rewarded for being accommodating. Encouraged to avoid conflict.

But there is a subtle point where kindness stops being healthy and begins turning into self-abandonment. And many people never realize when t...