Dr. Shiloh's Blog
People pleasing often gets praised in our culture. We call it kindness. We call it selflessness. We call it being easy to work with, loyal in relationships, or someone who always shows up.
But underneath that polished image is often something much heavier: emotional debt. Emotional debt builds when...
One of the most common boundary struggles I see in therapy is this:
People do not just say no. They explain it. They defend it. They justify it. And often they apologize for it.
But the truth is, saying no should not require an essay.
Why People Over-Explain Their Boundaries
Over-explaining is r...
Most of us grow up believing that being nice is a virtue. We are praised for being agreeable. Rewarded for being accommodating. Encouraged to avoid conflict.
But there is a subtle point where kindness stops being healthy and begins turning into self-abandonment. And many people never realize when t...
